My American friends always ask me, “Do you like America?”
“Yes!” That is my always answer.
Then usually this question will follow. “Do you miss China?”
Without hesitation, I will say “Yes!”
The simple answer “YES” always brings me into deep thoughts. It is hard to say which one I like better. Because they have different meanings to me and those differences make it fascinating and full of fun to discover. Before the discovery, I have the huge process which needs to be getting through—my self-discovery. Am I exactly aware of what I can do, what I desire to do and what I am about to do. Trees won’t flourish without roots. What are my supporting roots?
The curiosity about exploring the world makes me aspire to experience the differences, especially the first-hand American culture; the sense of responsibility on English teaching urges me to pursue supereminence in English. You can tell how happy I was when I knew I was in this program. To be the culture ambassador is not an easy job. I become intoxicated in learning the profound Chinese culture and language.
And I do feel confused when I find the “funny” facts.
In China, students call me Kelly; In America, students call me Mrs. Chen;
In China, when I introduce my name—Fangfang, people will associate it with the famous song “ There is a girl named Xiaofang in the village”; In America, people always wonder why I got the given name—2 teeth. After they know the correct pronunciation, they need some information to help them remember my name, like “fun fun” or “funky monkey”. You never know people’s creativity when they show their interests in helping me find the right nick name.
In China, I love all the cakes, pizzas and pasta; In America, I try my best to feed myself Chinese food;
In China, I watch American TV shows and movies a lot; In America, I feel like living in the “American shows” and sometimes want to switch into the Chinese channels;
In China, I want to have some cool foreign friends; In America, I keep in touch with my “old” Chinese friends quite often.
…
The lists can go on and on like forever. Going through these flashbacks, it seems my self-discovery journey is filled with struggles. But is that all? The culture shock decreases when you have mutual-understanding and sense of humor. My great American colleagues always show me the positivity in solving problems. Look on the bright side and life is beautiful.
Someone has said, “Between the ages of 20-30, you spend your time figuring out who you are. Between the ages of 30 to 40, you’re trying to prove who you are.”
I am so lucky to have this wonderful self-discovery journey between the ages of 20-30 with the help of my special tool—bilingualism. English opens a window of a different world which provides me a precious opportunity to see the world in a particular aspect. Chinese helps people know more about China. The more I understand the differences, the better I work with it. And the quotation “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” backs me up all the time.
See, I am a typical Chinese lady with American spirit now, and a pretty strong one. I am still in my self-discovery journey. What about you?
Chen Fangfang was a TCLP Chinese exchange teacher during the 2013-2014 school year.